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Tips for mothers in contentious shared custody arrangements

Sharing custody with a former spouse after the dissolution of a marriage can be daunting and worrisome for many mothers. You want the best for your children, but that may mean dealing with an ex who is less than cooperative. As you navigate this new territory in your family’s dynamics, consider some strategies to manage this co-parenting relationship.

Every family is unique in how they handle a shared custody arrangement, so you have some flexibility as leeway as you plan for the new element of partnership with a former spouse. For exes who struggle to maintain open dialogue and civility, there are tips and tools available to mitigate these challenges.

Consolidate your co-parenting responsibilities

One major challenge associated with co-parenting is managing a shared schedule of everyone’s daily lives. Children have many activities and events to track and both parents are responsible for covering all bases in a shared custody arrangement. If the two of you struggle to discuss splitting tasks, this can mean certain responsibilities fall through the cracks.

To avoid major confusions and miscommunications, consider a digital solution to co-parenting. At this point, nearly every issue in life has an app-based solution, and that includes co-parenting. These apps such as Our Family Wizard, Cozi and 2Houses compile the important aspects of co-parenting in one unified location. They offer a shared calendar, expense reports, event reminders and secure storage for a child’s pertinent health and related information.

To help lessen the challenges of co-parenting with a difficult ex, consider using an all-inclusive platform to delegate tasks and hold each other accountable. The apps offer a built-in messaging system that can separate communications about parenting from other unrelated issues the two of you may discuss. Communicating via the app can help keep the two of your focused on the task at hand and not deviate into distracting, unproductive territory.

Keeping focused on parenting

The main thing to remember as you co-parent with a former spouse is that the children are the top priority and need to come before any outside issues. Both of you need to focus on productive shared parenting that doesn’t involve using children as the messenger or putting them in other difficult situations.

Sharing custody after a divorce can feel like a daunting, insurmountable task. In reality, there are many productive measures you can implement to simplify and streamline this process for the benefit of all involved. Even difficult co-parenting relationships can have somewhat simple solutions. Seek out guidance and resources for managing your new dynamic after a divorce.


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Law Offices of Catherine A. Schwartz
6877 Magnolia Avenue
Riverside, CA 92506

Phone: 951-335-0510
Fax: 951-686-8195
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