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Co-parenting isn't easy when you and your ex don't get along

If your marriage is heading for a breakup, you may have justifiable concerns about protecting your child from the potentially damaging effects of a divorce. Children are intuitive, and you may find it is difficult to hide from them when you and their other parent are not getting along. In fact, if you and your spouse are harboring deeply negative emotions toward each other, you may wonder if co-parenting will even be possible.

Fortunately, there are ways you can deal with the complications co-parenting may present when your relationship with your ex is heated and hostile. It will be critical to keep your children's wellbeing in mind constantly when you interact with your ex, and you may have to take some drastic steps to protect yourself and your kids during this difficult adjustment period.

Making it work

Despite your negative feelings toward your ex, your children may love their other parent as much as they love you. Apart from cases of physical or emotional abuse, having two parents as loving and supportive factors in their lives is essential to the future stability of many children. This does not change the fact that co-parenting with someone you detest can seem next to impossible. However, following these, and other guidelines that your attorney may suggest, may allow you to share parenting responsibilities peacefully:

  • Avoid badmouthing your ex in front of the children or allowing them to speak negatively about their other parent.
  • Keep your expectations of your co-parent and your custody situation as realistic as possible.
  • Establish healthy boundaries that minimize the time you must spend with your ex.
  • Insist on consistent rules and schedules for the children between the two households.
  • Take advantage of technology to communicate with your ex to avoid conversations turning into arguments.
  • Consider using a third party to transport the children between your house and your ex's.

You may try seeing yourself through your children's eyes. When you interact with your ex, keep in mind that the children may see or hear, and your emotions may be difficult to hide. Along with the many sacrifices you make for your children, taking the high road when it comes to your co-parent may be one of the most important.

Nevertheless, when things get difficult with your ex and you find yourself struggling to protect your rights provided through your court-ordered custody schedule, you may want to seek legal advice. A California attorney can provide you with guidance and resources to ensure your children's best interests are the first priority.

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Law Offices of Catherine A. Schwartz
6877 Magnolia Avenue
Riverside, CA 92506

Phone: 951-335-0510
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