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Working toward an amicable divorce despite the pain

If you are like many spouses preparing for divorce, you may find that each interaction with your former partner leaves you with some negative emotion, such as anger, resentment or irritation. It may feel good to nurse those emotions, and you may be right in feeling that you deserve to be upset. However, negative emotions can complicate your divorce and make it more difficult to achieve a reasonable and workable outcome.

While you cannot control your spouse and you may not have control of your emotions, you can control your actions and behavior. Choosing to make your divorce as amicable and positive as possible may mean a faster and smoother process that allows you to have a brighter outlook for your future and less stress in your life.

Positive decisions

To reach an amicable outcome in your divorce, begin by thinking about your future. Your dark and negative thoughts come from reflecting on the past, the hurt your spouse may have caused and the disappointment you are dealing with. Instead, by remembering the possibilities that lie ahead, you may find yourself looking forward to some aspects of your new life. The process of divorce can be intimidating and overwhelming, but if you have a strong attorney, you can trust the process and anticipate the future.

Practical ways to bring about a more amicable divorce include the following:

  • Avoid saying negative things about your spouse to yourself or to others.
  • Resist any goading your ex may do; keep the peace by refusing to respond to any trash talk or accusations.
  • See any negative behavior on the part of your spouse as confirmation that you are acting in your best interests by moving forward with the breakup.
  • Avoid those friends and family whose misguided efforts at support may perpetuate any negative emotions in you.
  • Remain close to those who support your decision to take a positive stand throughout the divorce process.
  • Consider a more peaceful method of divorce than litigation, such as mediation or collaboration, if your spouse is willing to cooperate.
  • Realize that even an amicable divorce can be quite painful, so find healthy ways of dealing with your pain instead of turning to destructive coping mechanisms, such as drugs or alcohol.

Your California attorney can play an important role in your decision to keep your divorce amicable. In fact, it may be wise to allow your attorney to handle any aspects of the divorce that may threaten your plans to remain at peace during the process. With the right advocate, you may achieve your goals.

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Law Offices of Catherine A. Schwartz
6877 Magnolia Avenue
Riverside, CA 92506

Phone: 951-335-0510
Fax: 951-686-8195
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